There was once a merchant who was sent by the king on a daring mission. Afraid he would not return, the night before he was scheduled to depart, the merchant went to his old friend to ask a favor. The two had been friends for so long, that the merchant knew he could trust his friend.
“My old friend,” began the merchant, “I have known you for as long as I have been able to walk. You have stood with me through thick and thin. Now, I must ask you to do me one favor more. I am going on a mission and it may be awhile before I return. I need you to watch over my two tons of iron so that nobody will steal it while I’m gone.”
The friend, seeing this as an opportunity to gain immense wealth, replied that he would be happy to keep an eye on the merchant’s iron. “I’ll watch it as if it were my own.”
Once the merchant left, the friend sold every last piece of iron and grew extensively wealthy. The friend, expecting the merchant to perish on his travels, was shocked to see him return several fortnights later.
Upon his return, the merchant paid a visit to his friends house, expecting to be returned his iron. “Good friend,” the merchant began. “I have returned successfully from my mission and am glad that you have watched over my iron while I have been away. You have watched my iron, haven’t you?” To his dismay, the friend said that it had been lost, but the merchant knew that the friend had come into a large amount of money recently and expected that he sold the iron to accomplish this.
After telling the friend that everything was ok, the merchant left the friend’s house, but not before stealing the friend’s most prized possession, his cat. That night, when the friend went to bed, he called, “Kitty, kitty, kitty. Come here kitty, kitty,” but the cat did not come. Suddenly, the friend heard someone open his door. “Who is there? Reveal yourself you coward!!” the friend screamed. Then, the merchant appeared in the doorway.
“Return me my iron,” the merchant said defiantly.
“What have you done with my beautiful kitty?!”
“Your cat will be returned to you once you give me my iron back. I know that you sold my iron for your own gain, and for that you will be punished.” And so the friend was punished. The merchant retook all of the profits from the iron and let the cat walk right out the front door. His kitty was never seen again. |
| (Image Information: A collage of cats; Web Source: Wikipedia) |
"The Merchant and His Iron" from The Tortoise and the Geese and Other Fables of Bidpai by Maude Barrows Dutton, with illustrations by E. Boyd Smith (1908).
Hey, Stoffel! I really like your story. It combines a serious story with a fun element when the guy used a cat as negotiation. The font was easy to read and your background colors are aesthetically pleasing. I appreciate how your labels are not distracting or pulling attention away from your story but are also easy to read. I can’t think of much to improve but if anything, I would add a little bit to the author’s note and explain why you chose the writing style you did and what you may or may not have changed. Also, you could talk about why you liked this story in particular. I’m not very good at author’s notes, but those are some questions that I ask myself when trying to make my author’s note longer. Besides that, keep up the great work! You seem to be a great storyteller so I’m excited to (hopefully) read your storybook.
ReplyDeleteWow! What a twist (as M. Night Shamalan would say)! Even though your story is short, you definitely are able to make a point! Even though your writing style is good, I found a few redundant details where they didn't need to be. But they're just minor instances, and I'm sure you'll catch them if you look over it again.
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