There was once a king who ruled over the entire world. His father, the king before him, died when he was just a boy, and being the only heir to the throne, the boy was thrust into the limelight. As the years past, he became more calloused to the many extravagancies he was capable of getting his hands on. He could have anything he wanted.
One day, the king woke up and could no longer smile. He was so depressed that nothing could make him happy. He watched the jester with disdain, and he ate his world-class food with disgust. Then looked out of his palace and saw several bricklayers whistling and joking while they worked. There was so much joy in their eyes, the king thought. Then it hit him. What he really wanted was someone he could share his experiences with. Someone he could spend his days growing old with, so he had one of his servants round up twenty of the most beautiful women in all of the land. He had his choice of the lot, tall ones, short ones, thin ones, fat ones, blonde ones, black ones. Unfortunately, after looking over the women, he felt no connection to any of them and had them returned to their homes at once. This search continued for a fortnight. Every morning and every evening, the servant would bring twenty of the finest women in the world for the king to behold, but every time, the king sent them all back home.
When his mother asked him what was wrong, the king dejectedly responded, “Mother, I am alone in this world. Because all of the others have lived in fear of me all their lives, I have no friends to call my own. And I’ve been shut off from the bourgeoisie for so long that I do not desire any of their women either. I am completely and utterly alone.” Upon hearing this, the king’s mother set out in an attempt to find something to make her royal son smile. She looked for almost three months, sending her findings back to the palace with servants, but nothing could please the king.
Then, one day when the king was solemnly looking out his stained glass window, contemplating putting an end to his misery, he saw something crawling along a rooftop in the distance. It was a little green blob. The king was intrigued by this thing and told his servants to fetch it. When the servants returned, the king finally found what he was looking for. He gazed into two eyes that seemed to stare right into his soul. It was a beautiful green cat.
The king spent the rest of his days with the now royal green cat. He named her Jewel. The king and Jewel lived happily ever after. |
| (Image Information: A green cat; Web Source: Messy Beast) |
In this story, I threw our the girls and the boat and inserted the mom and the cat. By making the king younger, it makes sense that he would find happiness in a green cat. I would be super happy if I found a green cat because meow.
"The Green Jewel" from Donald Mackenzie's Egyptian Myth and Legend (1907)
I see a theme in your stories! I like that you chose to have a cat in each story. It really ties together all of your writing and is very creative. I cannot believe you actually found a picture of a green cat! It really added to your story to have that image. I liked your use of dialogue in the middle of the story. I think that separating the dialogue into its own paragraph would have helped it stand out a little more. Also, maybe making shorter paragraphs in general would make the story flow better and look less daunting. Specifically, the second paragraph is very long. I would like to have just a little more information about the original version of the story. Overall, though, I really enjoyed your creative take on the story and I was glad to see a happy ending for the king and his cat!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story! I was really perplexed at how the Green Jewel would come into play but I was very entertained until the very end when my question was answered. I agree with Brianne that the paragraph structure should be a little shorter and concise. I think the content of the paragraphs is great but if broken up would make the story look more appealing to the eye and not as long. Also, I suggest adding a double space between each paragraph (now I see you have done this in newer posts).
ReplyDeleteYour blog site works really well! I like your background picture and your weather widget. It makes me want to add that to my site. Also, I like how your font is "furturistic" or looks like something of an old computer. It goes well with the flasks and beakers in the background picture. I really liked the content of this story and would have loved to find out what made the king love the green cat so much. Those are all my suggestions. Good work!
I enjoyed this. I also love how the central theme of your blogs are all cats because meow. This may come as a shock that someone could be this "cruel-hearted," but I don't like cats (gasp). BUT I am glad for cats' sake that you like them, everybody needs a little lovin'! I also like this story, because it loosely suggests that material things aren't going to satisfy. We were meant to have companionship!
ReplyDeleteNice job with this story! I like the changes you made to it. I also like the picture of the green cat and your reasoning behind why you would be happy if you found a green cat. I am excited to read more of your stories because they're so just fun to read. You have a great imagination!
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